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Over the past few weeks since my wife unexpectedly passed away, I’ve had conversations with several friends about responding to tragedy, and they’ve been good conversations.
I don’t believe I have some extraordinary faith, and I know I certainly don’t have some extraordinary strength. On the contrary, most of the time I’m a hot mess who is able to mask it behind a natural “resting indifference” face.
But looking back, I can see how this journey of faith really started for Melissa and me at least five years ago, as her chronic migraines became worse, and her limitations became greater. We learned together that we could still trust God in spite of how we felt or what we saw. We also put to test the idea of two people choosing to love each other in spite of how we sometimes felt about each other or acted toward each other.
So these past three weeks, I’ve been doing much the same thing. Can I trust God in spite of what I feel or see? Can I love Him despite how I sometimes feel about him and what he’s allowed in my life?
This song comes to mind:
Doesn’t matter what I feel
Doesn’t matter what I see
My hope will always be
Your promises to me
I need these regular reminders. They are my support and strength throughout the day. So I share them online, not because I’ve got this all figured out, but rather because these are the things I cling to, and I hope they’ll be an encouragement to someone else, too.