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This morning while driving alone in the car, I started another conversation with God. I picked up this habit from someone I admire who I know spent at least some of their time alone in the car praying, especially on their morning commute, giving their cares to God, praying for their family, friends, pastor, etc.
This morning, I was telling God how I don’t think I’m ready for this coming weekend (Saturday, November 6 is the 1-year anniversary of Melissa’s death).
I immediately felt a response that said, “I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL.” But it felt slightly different than yesterday’s responses.
I quickly realized this was a response from Jesus, the Great High Priest who is able to sympathize with our weaknesses. Jesus reminded me of this verse:
“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who has been tempted in every way as we are, yet without sin.” — Hebrews 4:10
Jesus said to me, “Do you remember how I prayed three times in the Garden of Gethsemane, ‘If this cup cannot pass unless I drink it, your will be done’? I even admitted to Peter and the other two disciples that I was ‘deeply grieved to the point of death.’ I understand grief and fear.”
Then He asked me, “Do you know what that day was like for me, the day I was crucified?”
I answered, “I imagine it must have been the worst day for you.”
And Jesus responded, “But what did that day mean for you?”
I answered, “Well, it would have been the best day for me, because You took the penalty for my sin. You paid the price so that I could have forgiveness and eternal life.”
Jesus answered, “Yes, and not just for you, but for all who believe in Me. Including Melissa.”
He continued, “So what was November 6, 2020, for you?”
I answered immediately, “It was my worst day.”
And He quietly prompted, “So what was that day for Melissa?”
And I realized, “…It was her best day. She finally got to leave her body and this world that had caused her so much pain. Now she is whole, and pain-free, and living an existence that I can only imagine.”
Jesus replied, “Yes, it was Her best day. I welcomed her home with open arms and I wiped the tears from her eyes.”
I took a moment to think, and finally said, “Then I guess it has all been worth it.”
And Jesus nudged me: “You know that you both have My presence, don’t you? Yes, Melissa can actually see Me, but what have I promised to all who believe in Me? That I will be with you always. That I will never leave you or forsake you. That in this world you will have trouble, but I have overcome the world. That I will send you a Comforter. That I am the resurrection and the life. That whoever believes in me, even though they die, they will live. These things are still true.”
“Nathan, I have been there. I know what you feel and what you fear. But I’m with you now. You’re not alone.”
And then, as I had much to consider and ponder, I remembered this song…
Written by Mark Schultz
In a room without a view
A new mother smiles and holds the tiny fingers
Of her brand new baby girl.
Her husband takes her by the hand,
So unsure about the future and no money;
Can they make it in this world?
And they pray,
“Lord, all we have to give is love.”
Then they heard a gentle voice
Like an echo from above:
“I have been there,
I know what fear is all about.
Yes, I have been there,
And I’m standing with you now.
I have been there,
And I came to build the bridge
And so this road will lead you home,
Oh, I have been there.”
He’s been a pastor twenty years,
But tonight he sits alone and brokenhearted
In the corner of the church.
He’s tried to change a fallen world
With his words and with his wisdom,
But it seems like it is only getting worse.
And he cries,
“Oh Lord, I just don’t understand.”
Then he felt the hand of grace
And he heard a voice that said:
“I have been there,
I know what pain is all about.
Yes, I have been there,
And I’m standing with you now.
I have been there,
And I came to build a bridge
And so this road will lead you home,
Oh, I have been there.”
An older man upon a hill,
Holding flowers but he can’t hold back the tears,
Oh, he has come to say goodbye.
He thinks about the life she lived,
Thinks about how hard it’s been to live without her,
Fifty years right by his side.
And he cries,
“Oh Lord, I loved her till the end.”
And he heard a gentle voice
Say, “You’ll see her once again!”
“I have been there,
I know what sorrow’s all about.
Yes, I have been there,
And I’m standing with you now.
I have been there,
And I came to build a bridge
And so this road will lead her home,
The road will lead her home.
Oh, I have been there,
You know I overcame the cross.
Yes, I have been there,
So her life would not be lost.
Oh, I have been there,
And I came to build a bridge
And so this road will lead you home,
The road will lead you home.
Oh, I have been there!
Yes, I have been there!”
