Turning 47

I turned 47 today. It seems odd to say that, for at least a couple of reasons:

1. I was 10 months younger than Melissa, so for most of the year, she was a year older than I was. But now I’ve lived to be older than she did (she was 46 when she passed).
2. I feel like I’ve “missed” so much of the past two years, or at least my brain doesn’t remember it unless I intentionally look back at my journals. So in a way, I still feel like I’m 45.

I had my “main” birthday dinner with family last night — my brother made burgers at my request, and my sister-in-law made the strawberry/cream-cheese/pretzel DELIGHT (my word) which is a favorite of mine and that I had also requested. (There is some discussion about it being a “salad,” as that word is apparently part of the recipe’s name, but I stand firm in my stance that any dish that I want for dessert is NOT a salad.) And I got a very special and rare performance of the Happy Birthday song from my nephew — if you know our family, you will understand.

Today, Jake and I worshipped via an online church service, and then had lunch via Doordash. Later we took advantage of my free Starbucks birthday beverage, where I got a “Trenta” 30-oz iced coffee. I didn’t realize they had a size that large, and I fear I will regret consuming that much caffeine today!

Days like birthdays, holidays, etc. are still days of mixed emotions. Melissa LOVED birthdays and always made a big deal out of them, so we definitely missed her today. Jake and I talked a little bit about some memories of her, and then we speculated what she might have done to make today special. “Bittersweet” is the word that comes to mind…