Even If

One of my favorite songs in recent times is MercyMe’s “Even If.” Bart Millard — singer, songwriter, and band leader — shared this testimony in a live concert:

It’s interesting because when you stand up here, a lot of times people think you’re supposed to have it all together. You have… answers. And we walk around hovering two inches off the ground, “God is good,” “How’re you doing,” and all this kind of stuff.

But man, that is not the case. There are some days where I don’t wanna stand up here, and I don’t wanna tell you it’s gonna be OK, because I don’t believe it. Pardon my French, but sometimes life just sucks. [Clapping] I’m glad you’re clapping for that. [Laughter] “Amen, amen. [Whispering] He said that word.” [Laughter]

But it’s true, man. To act it like it doesn’t exist is wasting everybody’s time.

So this song was written like at the last minute, and I was having a bad day because, like I said, I have five kids. My oldest son, Sam, is fifteen, and Sam was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes when he was two years old. And so if you know anything about chronic illnesses, you know what I mean when I say, it never goes away. You have your good days and your bad days. You spend time in denial. But it’s still there waiting on you.

This particular day, it didn’t start off well, probably something my kids did. They wake me up early — not cool. [Laughter] I always blame my kids for my bad days. We had a checkup, like a six-month checkup, and I don’t even know if the checkup was good or bad — it doesn’t matter. It’s just the reminder that, Hey, this thing is real, and your life revolves around it.

And then… So I leave there… It’s like going to the principal’s office. They could say, “Man, your kid is really healthy,” but I could’ve done more is what you feel like. It just beats you up.

But then we’re leaving there, we’re running to this dear friend of ours, this godly woman that starts asking, “Hey, tell me about diabetes. I don’t know much about it.” So we go through all of our statistics that we’ve memorized over the years, that Sam has had over 37,000 shots in his lifetime. Every time food goes in his mouth, a shot goes in his arm or leg. And so we’re saying all of this stuff, and she stopped me in the middle of it, and she goes, “You know what? We’re gonna pray that God heals him.”

Now hold on, don’t clap because it ticked me off. [Laughter] But my church, my good little church face smiled and said, [chuckling] “God is good… all the time.” What I wanted to do was grab her by the shoulders and go, “Really? A healing for my son. Like that’s never crossed my mind in thirteen years. What a novel concept.” Because I was having a bad day. I blame my kids. [Laughter]

But sometimes it’s the last thing you wanna hear because, deep down, part of me wrestles with the fact that I know God can heal him, but for whatever reason, He’s not.

But you know what? That’s OK. The way we see it in our house, Sam’s just gonna change the world as a diabetic. And it’s OK. [Applause]

But man, there are times when it doesn’t feel OK, and I just wanna be like Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego — I wanna have the courage to stand in front of the fiery furnace and say, “I know that God can deliver us, but even if He does not, I’m still not gonna surrender, I’m still not gonna bow, because He’s worth it.” Because deep down, even though there are times I’ll forget who I am, luckily He never forgets me. And the times when I wanna give up, but the bottom line is, the only way I can get up every morning and go through this is because of what Christ has already done. No circumstance will change who I am in Christ. It’ll try, and sometimes it feels like it’s gonna win. But regardless of what we go through, He’s bigger. We have to believe that with all of our hearts, or otherwise, what are we doing?

So I don’t know what you’re going through. I know that we all go through something — if you haven’t yet, God bless you, it’s coming. [Chuckles] It’s interesting — most of the people that I see that are standing in front of the fire… I have an aunt that has cancer, and she gets it more than I do. Her hair is almost gone. She looked at me and said, “You think this is gonna win? No. I won a long time ago.” I’m like, “Ah, how does she get it standing there, and I’m just having a bad day and I’m struggling?” So, this song simply goes out to any of you fine people that have ever had a bad day, this is “Even If.”

They say sometimes you win some,
Sometimes you lose some,
And right now,
Right now I’m losing bad.
Stood on this stage night after night,
Reminding the broken it’ll be alright,
But right now,
Oh, right now I just can’t.
It’s easy to sing when there’s nothing to bring me down,
What will I say when I’m held to the flames
Like I am right now?

I know You’re able and I know You can
Save through the fire with Your mighty hand.
But even if You don’t,
My hope is You alone.

They say it only takes a little faith
To move a mountain.
Well, good thing:
A little faith is all I have right now.
God when You choose to leave mountains unmovable,
Oh, give me the strength to be able to sing,
“It is well with my soul.”

I know You’re able and I know You can
Save through the fire with Your mighty hand.
But even if You don’t,
My hope is You alone.
I know the sorrow and I know the hurt
Would all go away if You’d just say the word.
But even if You don’t,
My hope is you alone.

You’ve been faithful,
You’ve been good all my days.
Jesus, I will cling to You
Come what may.
I know You’re able.
I know You can.

I know You’re able and I know You can
Save through the fire with Your mighty hand.
But even if You don’t,
My hope is You alone.
I know the sorrow and I know the hurt
Would all go away if You’d just say the word.
But even if You don’t,
My hope is You alone. My hope is You alone.

It is well with my soul,
It is well,
It is well with my soul.

Posted on 2020-02-23 #Bart Millard #Lyrics #MercyMe #Music